Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Olu-Aye And The Seventh Sorceress November 25, 2010

Filed under: Scenic — afrosays @ 1:19 pm
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Beloved villagers, this is the reason for my prolonged silence.

I shall not speak much, the crazy goddess is with us.

Let us gather in one ritual spirit, keeping our thoughts in distance, as I, the TownCrier beat a spiritual ‘Konko-below’ tune in honour of her majesty. Our souls shall listen with a single ear as AfroSays:

OLU-AYE AND THE SEVENTH SORCERESS

She's calling you...

We’d been sailing for ten days with neither food to warm our bellies nor wine to cheer our spirits. We had depleted the water skins two days ago and our throats were parched for many a soul had perished drinking these foul waters we were navigating.
Our redemption was not far off anymore for an island had suddenly appeared before our eyes in the early hours of the night. I encouraged the men to gently urge the battered vessel towards the new found land because although I realized that remdeption was at hand, it would be unwise to let the desperation I saw in their eyes prevail over good judgment. I reckoned that we would not last a minute in these dangerous waters if we lost the ship.
We sailed two more days and lost two more men to the dark sleep, but the island wasn’t getting any closer. I suspected some foul magic at work but hope for land was the only thing left to motivate the men. I could not steal that hope from them lest they burn the vessel for they believed that the foul spirit of the sea would not claim their souls if the fire messenger escorted them to the underworld. I believed different.
I took another look at Elewe, our diviner. He hadn’t said a word to anyone since our escape from the accursed clay country. Elewe had saved us all from the hellion, but he had bent a rule to do so; an action that the spiritual kind undertook and paid for with their lives. He hadn’t escaped himself, the sixth sorceress had discovered his treachery and cast a spell on him before her passing; it was a spell worse than death. She had cursed him with a vision of pain he would always see but can never tell. I saw him break down in bitter tears, experiencing terrible things our typic minds couldn’t fathom. He had only come back to us five days ago and he had been of no use to us since.
I took my place beside him, looking out to the dark waters, wondering why he had offered his life in exchange for ours, stealing peeks at my own inner demons, when he calmly made speech.
“The seventh sorceress has found us. She’s calling you”
Taking in what he said, I knew I was to be alone on this last part of the journey. My destiny was to face Abami-eji, the one with a dual consciousness, the chameleon. Elewe suddenly grabbed my shoulder and I began to see.
“Olu-aye”
“Olu-aye”
“Olu-aye oh!”
I turned around to see the most despicable sight. A effeminate, old pervert catered to by two most handsome, young boys amidst seven thousand others. The man was clothed in a kind of see-through, sequined, flowing red silk material that wasn’t covering much, as were his acolytes. The magnificence of his surroundings exuded the lusty, throaty call of Sodom. His stage was a twisted living puppetry of every unimaginable fetish. This was the seventh sorceress.
“Olu Aye, care to join me?”
If this was Abami-eji, I turned away from her covering my eyes in disgust. Elewe had once told me that it was common belief among the spirituals that one could not look directly at her but no one really knew why. Her prescence stripped one of all sense of decency. Even one inclined in such desires would lose such an inclination in this temple of perversions.
“You know, Olu I like you and I think you deserve a chance…. at immortality.”
“Kiss me Olu, let me take your age away, let me make you young again”
“I know your darkness, I see the sickness in your blood, let me fix you”
He kissed my neck. I cringed. I turned back to see the most beautiful woman. Her ample breasts were soft cushions on my body. Her hands were taking away my evil, my wrinkles, my cares. I could feel every detail of her curves on my body. She was working her magic and I was yielding. I closed my eyes, soaking in the enthralling seduction and my hands betrayed me. They quickly forgot my instructions and went wandering on their own. They had not wandered too far when they found strong evidence of manliness.
I freaked out, pushing her away from me.
I saw the shriveled, old degenerate losing himself in laughter. I was on the floor sobbing. Defeat was near.
“My Olu, my beautiful man. Why wouldn’t you accept my gift?”
His voice was like a beautiful layered sound of a dozen instances of pouring wine. Every part of my being felt an uncontrollable pull.
“You have chosen to duel, Mortal. Immortal”
He became her once again. I stole a look at her as she kept on speaking. She seemed quite unhappy to lose yet another potential man doll. She attempted a pout, pucking her colored lips in mock protest. She became him.
“You would have made a fine princess”
I shook my head, wishing the unwelcome thought away. His acolytes began to laugh, a riotous, animalistic melee.
“This is your challenge!”
His voice became a freakish scream, like a thousand swords scraping on the stone walls of a palace dungeon, like ten thousand demonic birds of prey crying in unison, bringing a vision of slayings and sacrifices, of horrors unimaginable; the sound of the end of the world.
“To seduce him!”
My world began to spin around me as I was transported through a time portal to a different, yet familiar existence. I saw the mountains where I had walked as a child and I had made my home as a man, I saw my wife, beautiful Omoniwa, I saw my young cubs, practicing battle with wooden swords.
My already failing spirit disintegrated as I saw myself become another man, irritatingly beautiful like one of the acolytes.
Abami-eji pointed into the whirring mix of visions and showed me my challenge, my prize, my love-interest. The one to be seduced, he was admiring his family from a distance, smiling with pride at his success as a husband, as a father, as a man.
I trembled in denial as I began to realize the sheer wickedness of this bewitchment. I tried to close my eyes as the one to be seduced turned around and I saw his face.
It was me.
DEAR FRIENDS, PLEASE I REALLY NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS KIND OF WRITING! #YoursSincerely

If you think it’s good, invite someone to read as well, if not, tell me how to make it better. #ThankYou

 

27 Responses to “Olu-Aye And The Seventh Sorceress”

  1. ayo Says:

    Smooth Twist…
    Nice Piece!

  2. Lowlar Says:

    Love this, totally awesome. Can’t wait to read more writeups like this one. :)

  3. I’m not exactly sure what most people will think about this, but it is pure genius. Oluwole Bankole (our TownCrier) more than makes me jealous and inspired at the same time. I’ll be writing like that soon – very soon.

    Back to the story….it’s epic! The extent of your imagination broadens everytime and just makes me wonder. That short snippet is what makes a Harry Potter series….like….one can only begin to slightly imagine the length of story surrounding the clip you just gave us – one that you, as a writer, can change multiple times at your whim. That’s what writing is about – POWER!

    • afrosays Says:

      Thank you Deji for supporting my humble efforts again and again.

      I don’t know what people would think about it either so I had to publish it. Thanks for taking the time to read the story, I hear it’s not exactly the easiest essay to digest but I’m working on writing more clearly.

      I’m hoping to write an AfroFantasy story next year and this is kind of a self-exam to see if I’d be any good at it. Your encouragement makes me think I might survive.

      Thanks again!

  4. Sugabelly Says:

    Awesome! Don’t forget to post this on Nigerian Fiction too k?

    http://www.nigerianfiction.com

  5. CeeJay Nweke Says:

    I like the story, and I second Deji’s motion. very enthralling, has the makings of a multi-faceted nd multi-million naira worth story. However, I do not understand it. Started in the middle; ended in the middle. The way the text is written shows sound grammatical concept and usage, but poor conveyance of thought. people reading ur writing should be able to understand it after 2 reads, @ least. Other than that, great job mehn!! Love it.

    • afrosays Says:

      Thanks for your candor,
      I’m doing everything I can to fix my delivery. I’m hoping that one day, I’d be awesomely creative and simply vivid at all once.

      Looking to fix the gong…

  6. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ayodeji Olubusi, Bankole Oluwole. Bankole Oluwole said: Olu-Aye And The Seventh Sorceress : http://wp.me/pYoqs-6h [...]

  7. @ CeeJay: Starting in the middle and ending there will keep you interested. It’s a writing technique that has earned J.K. Rowling billions of dollars. It gives the writer the opportunity to change the beginning and the end at their own wish.

    The only problem I perceive people may be getting is that this is only a clip out of the story. CeeJay, that’s not the beginning and end of the story. It’s a snippet. I think that should change your opinion about it.

  8. eromosele Says:

    Very beutiful piece, ur imagination is just wow

  9. Es Says:

    It’s amazing … i should have been nicer … i’m sorry

  10. Olaoye Jesuloluwa Says:

    Dis is really nice. I wish I am able to write lyk dis

  11. sholaenoch Says:

    …many times when i read any story or write-up, i always say to myself “of course i should be able to do this!” even our dear Harry Potter.But reading this stuff now, i realized there is absolute difference between free flowing muse inspired creativity and the kind of bravado intelligence that produce complex algorithms.You can’t just copy real creativity to perfection.Bankole o! i have only one advice for you.Don’t think too much of people’s advice:if you are just natural and creative like this you will perfect everything anyone might think you are not doing right today, Just write-its in you and its not science that can be learn by following rules. I love this really very much and it reminded me of all the super authors that critique J.K Rowling but never sell one tenth of what she sold.Now i believe there’s really one ‘crazy’ goddess uploading stuffs into you. :-)

  12. missTito Says:

    hmmm, i liked this, it was twistd and unexpectd but i liked it

  13. Damisola Says:

    This is such a beautiful story. Reminds of the book Forest of a Thousand Daemons. I read d english translation by Wole Soyinka but haven’t read the original, Ogboju Ode ni nu Igbo Irunmale. I can’t rememeber the author as well. The plot was beautiful but the characters were a bit confusing. U need to explain more to ur readers cos this isn’t a movie, u need to explain in detail, so that we can ‘see’ the characters.
    I av read a couple of stories that have attempted to be like this but to me, urs is the best of d crop.
    @sholaenoch, listening to ppl goes a long way. It’s cos ppl don’t ask for opinions that’s why u see some ppl embarass themselves on idols and d rest.
    It’s a good job. Just read a lot more. Esp books on how to write, develop ur xters and learn how to flow seamlessly from 1 scene to another. For example, I don’t know how d main xter left d ship to see d old pervert. Was it in a dream? Did he finally get to land? Stuff like that.
    Great job.
    This was an epistle. Lol

    • afrosays Says:

      This wasn’t an epistle, it was priceless feedback.

      Olu Aye was my first fantasy-type story. I’ve written two or three after. There’s a follow-up to Olu Aye, it’s Dancing in the dark. There are a few unpublished ones as well. I’d love to get your opinion on them all. Watch out for my email.

      **Now running to a bookstore to purchase a writing for dummies book

  14. xheggs Says:

    Damn! This is just sick. Great story mehn. I love this!

  15. I don’t know what to say. This is good. Amazing writing, amazing story. U should feel honoured that this story chose you to come through. Work on it, finish it, get it out there. By the time you’re done, it’s going to be a classic. Great literature. It’s the kind of thing that steals your mind when you’re reading it.
    Good work, Bankole. Waiting to see it in a bookstore near me.

    • afrosays Says:

      Gushing with happy emotion.

      Means a lot that you dug up a story from last year (my writing genesis) and still found it ‘classic-potential’.

      I’m working on something new, if you want, we could hook up on twitter and share emails/pins/whatever we could use to exchange ideas/comments.


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