She slapped me awake this morning and left my dispatch beside me.
I’m sitting here, offended but subdued, picking up my gong, because Afrosays:
THE ONLY TIME I WAS HAPPY SHE WOKE ME UP
SALVATION MASTIFF SADDAM
I don’t like waking up early in the morning; it’s not that I’m lazy, I close from my long shift at the hospital at 0200 hours and probably hit my sleep switch in another hour or so.
It’s simply depressing that this woman, she felt a burden to wake up the whole neighborhood at 5 a.m. to come to salvation. Wasn’t Jesus meant to come like a thief in the night? Someone tell this lady that the biblical simile didn’t tell us to expect him like a Lagos banker in the morning!
The landlord’s association had repeatedly told the superstitious security man to keep the lady away but they were so sentimentally attached him, they wouldn’t fire him despite his repeated failures. Who needed a seventy five year old gate man anyways?
Good thing I had taken the law into my own hands this morning.
I smiled as I heard the bells of salvation ringing closer. I chuckled when I heard Saddam and Fidel, my landlord’s overfed Mastiffs, run out of their cages into the open street.
I didn’t mind waking up this morning to the ensuing cacophony. Those bells wouldn’t be ringing here anytime soon, if at all.
Waking up early has never been so much fun!