Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Judgment day September 26, 2010

Filed under: Abstract — afrosays @ 9:22 pm
Tags: , ,

She wouldn’t listen to my apologies because this message is a week due.

I begged her, appealing to all her sense of charity and she promised to deal with me later.

She did tell me, however, to share the withheld dispatch immediately.

I am therefore, beating this gong because AfroSays:

Give him an A+

I saw the awesome throne and I was scared. As I entered the room, some guy in medieval priestly clothes had just gotten thundered at and was being assisted away by two muscular dudes in a smart uniform
Yea, it was lights, power and action – lights so bright that I could not see who sat on the seemingly endless glory seat; I just surmised that whoever did must realize how much sucking up he deserved from whatever else was in existence; I mean, the super guy was definitely worthy of all receivables – I’d have totally given him all my salary as tax returns if he had demanded it while I was alive.
Suddenly, a timeless looking man came out of all the oppressive glory. Fashionistas from my side of existence had nothing on him.”I think ten percent was fair enough tax?” He said with a little laugh. I fell on my face because I knew I was done for, realizing the fate that had befallen the priest before me. “You managed fairly well” He continued, “Give him an A+”, he called out to whoever kept score.
“But I..” I started as a protest to the undeserved pass mark I had just been awarded. I remembered going to church only on Christmas, New Years and random special ceremonies, every once in a while; being passively nice when it suited me and just living as a jack BEEP most of the time. (Here it seemed even my thoughts were censored).
I started toying with that impressive PG feature of the holy land,
“jack BEEP “,
“mother BEEP“,
BEEP hole”,
BEEP you”, “BEEP me”, “BEEP the…”
“Silence!” he thundered, eyes flaming red and blue inward like a living fire.
“One would think you were beginning to realize what this experience is really all about”
I cowered in fear.
“You children with your modern habits of free thinking insolence wrought on you by your democratic creches”
He smiled.
“I love you nonetheless”
“You scored an A+ because it’s either that or an F and it’s quite unfortunate that most of you can’t seem to get past an E-. Even your most recent spiritual geniuses only manage a D-“.
“Abraham, Moses, Paul, Ghandi et al, brilliant kids they are…”
I was about to ask what their report cards originally scored before the upgrade but I was too terrified to even look up.
“C-” I heard.
“Your goodness by me is like filthy rags but you’re my kids nonetheless”
I kind of understood as He continued with an affectionate bias.
“And what kind of father would I be not to clean you up”
I was a fool to had given up on creationism.
“Your books don’t answer every question as your inquisitive minds would appreciate but with time I would teach you what is and what is not”
“The first thing I usually teach is that I AM”. The “I AM” was pregnant.
I saw one of those yam-armed dudes approach me with the same priestly garments as the last guy
“And because you ever doubted me, You would have to put that on for a long long time.” He pointed to the ominous cassock.
I had been taught that over here, a thousand years was a day.
I looked far off somewhere to the right and BEEP! Good ol’ Abe was looking good in his heavenly attire with celestial bling, head gear and what not; My garment-to-be was a dead, patched up rag, up-close.
“Here, have your righteousness, censored to preserve some of your dignity”
“Take him away!”

4 Responses to “Judgment day”

  1. aderonke Says:


  2. Azuka Says:

    Nice as always.

  3. lekanbaruwa Says:

    Judgement day…………hmmmm……..#JahKnowsBest

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