Few words today…
We shall all drink deeply from the cup,
The sin-black cup of ink.
And then lift our drunken eyes up from it,
Waiting for what it shall do to us.
Shall we all, with bloodshot eyes of erudition, warmly welcome Brownegurl. Open your minds as she tells you her story. First, her gong signature…
I’d be Beating a dark red gong with a splash of purple tragedy somewhere in there. Its cry is sharp and deep, burrowing into your mind. Enjoy!
HER WAY OUT
I watched her as she sat peacefully drinking her tea, her almond tea just the way she liked it, the way I never seemed to get it right… I watched her, Abike.. My love, my life. The woman I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. The woman who vowed to spend her life with me. I watched her, wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers.
Years ago, I would have slowly crept up behind her and lovingly planted a soft kiss on the nape of her neck… years ago.. When my wife still loved me as I love her now. Years ago, before I had the road accident that took my legs from me.. Before I lost my job, before I lost the very essence of my manhood… before my wife got tired of me… before my wife sought comfort in the arms of another man… before she fell in love with another man.. Before… before. Years ago.
What would be her way out, I wondered as I watched her. Would Abike tell me she was leaving? or would my lovely wife ask for a divorce? My heart broke a little as those wicked thoughts danced around like little taunting devils in my head. What would I do? I wondered, she was life itself to me. With no children, we had shared twenty years of love and companionship before the accident. The accident changed everything…
I heard the “ting” of the microwave and knew that dinner was ready. I slowly came out of my reverie and wheeled myself to the dinner table. I looked at my wife. Abike looked particularly sad today.
“Is anything the matter?” I asked in my kindest voice. “No”, she said, barely looking at me, as she set my food down before me, her face as sad as sadness itself. Take out fried rice and salad, my favorite, but I had no passion for it tonight. All that I could think of was “what would be her way out?”.
I ate my food, my mind deep in thought, hardly aware of the rubbery texture of the rice in my mouth. When would Abike tell me she’s leaving, I wondered, punishing myself. When? I asked myself as I became aware of a sharp pain in the pit of my tummy. I clutched my tummy as the pain shot out from my stomach to my chest. I looked up at Abike as tears began to stream down her beautiful face and I wondered why she sat down there crying as I began to scream out in agonizing pain.
“I love you Seyi” she said in between tears, still seated across me as I choked “I love you but I cant go on like this, not anymore Seyi”
Pain rendered me incoherent of speech as what Abike said dawned on me. I couldn’t breathe as I was painfully dying from the poison in my system. “I’m so sorry Seyi, please forgive me”, she sobbed. Something broke in me as I finally realized this was her way out.
Abike couldn’t leave me. This was her way out… this.