Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Decades – The Third decade (21-30) August 12, 2011

Filed under: Decades,Scenic — afrosays @ 10:00 am

The Decades project I.

Thanks for following! In case you missed the preview, find it here so you know what to expect. Decades is a beautiful project that was worked on by a team of eight talented bloggers, some of which you’re familiar with. (The details are in the preview)

The project attempts to take you on a journey that is planned around how the life of a man is at different stages of his life. We use the lives of different men, some of which are intertwined to paint this picture. The stages are in ten-year intervals, hence the name project name.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

The Third Decade (21-30) by @thetoolsman
Remember David from The first Decade ? Hear his father out.


It’s funny how most of us have opinions about things we’ve never experienced. You know how you always say you can never stand to watch while someone you love gets hurt, or how you just know you can never fall for a plus-size woman talk more of getting married to her. Well, I never thought I’d ever have to tell a story like the one I’m about to tell you.
The moment the words escaped her mouth, her lips, everything changed.
“Benjamin. I’m 3 months pregnant”.
As if to further complicate things, she added:
“I’m not killing my baby. Our baby.”
The name is Benjamin Williams and this is my story.
My life started at 22. Well, that’s what I like to think. Before then I was a shadow. I just existed. Living every single day as it came. The ideal citizen. The poster child. I was born into a middle-class family. Father was a disciplinarian. An idealist whose only blemish was the fact that he married two wives. Of course this changed things in the home-front. As much as father tried to make everyone believe we were possibly one of the happiest polygamous families existing, we all knew better. Mother was the first wife; she had just my younger sister and I while the other wife had four kids. Three boys and a girl certainly ensured she got a lot more attention.
My family setup pushed me towards my realist mentality. I accepted the fact that I had no control over the family I was born into but what I could change was me. My life. My future. I started out on my quest early enough. Father made sure we had very good education and for me, this meant exposure. Exposure to the world; exposure to history, exposure to experiences of several men who had at some point also set out to leave near-permanent footprints in the sands of time.
In my first year at the University I discovered the solution to my puzzle. The simple concept that was going to help me fulfill my dreams. I realized the two things I needed to do to become relevant; to have a voice in the over crowded market we call life. Independence. Delayed Gratification. Those were the two strangers I needed to befriend and boy, did we become friends. To be completely independent, I needed to acquire skills. Skills that could stand the test of time. And to multiply whatever I got as a result of my acquired skills, I needed to delay gratification.
Poster children hardly ever discover half of their talents. They just focus on the ones their core sources of influence highlight. The first day I picked up a guitar, music evolved from a distant concept to a private location I could so easily lose myself; the kitchen became my studio and the sauce pan was my canvas whenever I cooked. But my true love, I found in Interior décor. My first year in the university, I lived in the library. I ate books and drank the Internet and by my third year, I set out to test the new me. I registered my company, an image consultancy, which became an instant success. Well, successful enough for a 21 year old, successful enough to gain my independence from my family, from my father.
Money they say has many friends. My network expanded significantly. New friends, new girls; yes, I was well into phase one. I just needed to hold things shut – delay gratification. By my final year, I moved to an apartment outside school. One bedroom. I was making a decent amount of money and I could afford so much more than I had. I continued acquiring knowledge. I learnt a second language, learnt to play the piano and my network got wider but I kept my distance from the women. I remained a virgin but no one could tell.
I graduated at 23; breezed through NYSC and setup my office consulting for some of the prominent medium sized organizations in the country. I had never set foot in an airplane not to talk of leaving the country but no one could tell. My clients sought my opinions on all subjects and this helped me move up the ranks easily. I was almost there and I just needed to acquire a few more skills. Still living in my one bedroom apartment with no car, I decided to probe into the world of women. I picked my preys carefully. I started with the little fishes testing my conversation skills and wooing them with my many talents. I moved up the ladder quickly and this was solely as a result of my diverse talents. Then came the so-called big fishes; daughters of reasonably wealthy and very influential men threw themselves at me and I ensured my stint with each victim was attached to a lesson; conversation skills, relationship skills and ultimately, bedroom skills.
At 26 I was no longer dealing with mid-level employees, my meetings were with CEOs over golf or at exclusive boat clubs and it was at one of such clubs I met Chief. Chief was one of those men people easily summarized on the outside – Stern. Disciplined. Wicked. Some of the words used to describe him. However, my broad knowledge allowed me win Chiefs trust and respect quickly. He saw in me, the man he secretly wished he was. A man who had life figured out. He tried to be that man but somewhere along the way, he lost it. Fifty-nine, with four gorgeous daughters from three different women and an empire worth well over $100 Million, you’d think a man would have no regrets. That wasn’t Chief. Chief never hid his hatred for women; he loathed religion and any form of association to any supreme being perhaps because he felt nothing but betrayal from that being, if ‘he’ exists. How could he have been blessed (not his preferred word) with four; FOUR daughters from three different women. Those beings he completely objectifies. Those beings that are only useful for the occasional purpose of dishing out pleasure to men.
Life had dealt Chief an ironic blow because if there was anything he loved, it was himself and as a result, he was forced to love his daughters – to death. He gave them the world and expected it back from them. They were his soldiers, his army. The outliers among the female gender and he made this clear to anyone and everyone. Chief and I had a strange friendship. To many on the outside, he had taken me under his proverbial wings and was grooming me as a prodigy. If only they knew. Chief saw so much of himself in me and he was bent on living the life he had always wanted through mine. Trust was the easy bit. Once successful men find enough reason to like you, it automatically comes with trust. I had access to everything. Chiefs offices, cars, jets, houses. Everything except his daughters. Not because they weren’t good enough, not because they were his daughters but they were his soldiers, the ones he had spent his lifetime grooming to liberate other women and as a result, they were sacred. Elizabeth, Nefertiti, Venus and Athena were 22, 23, 24 and 25 respectively. All younger than me and well within my dating age range but I had come to accept Chief as a vital asset in my life’s quest. He definitely could make things move faster for me so I made-up my mind to resist the temptation; to look away from his daughters and focus on the future; focus on the goal and I succeeded in doing this.
For three and a half years I stayed away from temptation and my profile soared. I became possibly the most sought after bachelor in the country and I had my pick of any woman but little did I know that delaying gratification was easier than resisting temptation. Resisting a woman’s temptation. Elizabeth. No, it was Athena. When envy rises in an extremely wise goddess, mistakes are bound to occur. Elizabeth was her pawn but I was the prey. I fell flat on my face and here in my arms is the result. David Ajifolawe-Williams. The bundle of joy that is also life, or perhaps, God’s way of bringing me down to humble realization.


FIND THE ART OF @thetoolsman here
N.B. The project still goes on for the following five days. Tomorrow we have The Fourth Decade by @ekwem.
You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project or in the comments section).

46 Responses to “Decades – The Third decade (21-30)”

  1. kayshawy Says:

    Oh boy….u r damn good! I thoroughly enjoyed this and had to give it a second read.

  2. minini Says:

    i like!!!

  3. Awwww. Maybe it’s just me, but this is incredibly sweet.

  4. I will not praise the writer, because I’m terribly upset with him

  5. BoukkieO Says:

    Brilliant, as always.

  6. jayajade Says:

    Chief is as egotistical as they come- Elizabeth, Nefertiti,Venus and Athena……all really strong women and near masculine in strategy and authority…figures tho, since he was building an ‘army’ it’s kinda sad…makes me remember why I pray hard for my annoying brother :D…awesome job on this story

  7. dat ibo gurl Says:

    wats wit u and plus size girls??? Did any one of dem beat u? me likey sha

  8. Honey_wealth Says:

    i like!!!!

  9. Me Says:

    Ur so talented Tula . U shud really think if writing a book. Ur blessed. I see another chimaamanda of our generation in u absolutely loved dis piece. Welldone.

  10. terdoh Says:

    This has to be the best conclusion I have seen in a while…matched only by the end of the “My Best Friend’s wedding” series…

    5 thumbs up!

  11. 0latoxic Says:

    How has nobody seemed to notice that the end of this is also the beginning of Decades 1?! I like how it seems in all their ‘monologuing’, their lives seem to be entwined, intersected, interwoven. A little lengthy, as the first two also were, but definitely worth the read…

    Loving the way the Afro’s mind seems to have worked on this series.
    Great job, Repairman (y)

  12. deji Says:

    Wow! Think I just read a premonition of what my life will look like. Well minus chief and his soldiers! I fink I love dis life

  13. Slim Says:

    I don’t understand 😦

  14. @whiteboi Says:

    Neatly illustrated..thumbs up Tula.
    Banxbaba dis is making Total sense.

  15. phantompages Says:

    Didn’t expect any less! The consistency in your language is very amazing! Trés bien!

  16. keLvin Says:

    Tula done did it again..
    No surprises here, well knit story.
    You could have throw Turai into the ‘powerful women’ mix though.. 😀

  17. This is the definition of “Wonderful”. Nice work

  18. Betty Says:


    I love the connections. Couldn’t have been easy.

  19. @ekwem Says:

    I love the last line. merges well with the beginning of Decades 0-10. this story is sorta common in all soft-sell magazines,but the telling carried us along well. good job (y)

  20. Laurenta Says:

    the way you spawn your words, sigh
    you get me everytime

  21. Kemmiiii Says:

    Really Nice..
    Had to read it twice.
    Big ups Mr. Tula!

  22. awizii Says:

    “The bundle of joy that is also life, or perhaps, God’s way of bringing me down to humble realization. ” Amazing. There’s a wealth of stuff to be learnt from this. A hardened heart will always melt at the sight of new life….Loved the imagery you brought to this one Wale. Well done, and a well-told story too. Time to go read Ekwe’s own!

  23. Nutella Says:

    The toolsman never disappoints.

  24. @Qurr Says:

    Beautiful! What a life!!

  25. THINKTANK Says:

    Great stuff

    I think I’ll hone in on the concept of ‘delayed gratification’ as a motto for success. Silly idea if you ask me.

    Love the connection back to the first decade. Explains a lot about the fathers attitude.

    Are these all going to be stories though? Shall we get a poem? A song? Some more illustration? A litte more spice?

    Again, great stuff.

  26. runtaj Says:

    Goodness!! Afro sabi abeg

  27. book-ey Says:

    ‘I ate books and drank the Internet and by my third year, I set out to test the new me. ‘

    Quick question Wale and perhaps a little irrelevant, lol. But The first part of this sentence, the ‘I ate books and drank the internet…’. There’s a literary term for putting words together like that. Care to remind me, please?

  28. book-ey Says:

    Yes, it is!!! Cheers 🙂

  29. Chukyjunior Says:

    Kai! Toolsman u too much… This is actually d most ‘intelligent’ decade I’ve read thus far… Many quotes to be recycled. The seriousness & sense of direction born in these years were more than aptly captured here. Kudos!
    One quick question tho, Is it that he luvd Lizzy but got Athena pregnant? Or he didn’t intend to settle wit Liz so Athena orchestrated events to lead to David so he’d officially b in d family? That got me a lil confused honestly.

  30. Sick_Sage Says:

    The storyline in itself wasn’t novel, but the storytelling? Refreshing! Good work toolsman, if U ever write a book, I’d love to read it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s