Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Making conversation October 28, 2011

Filed under: Scenic — afrosays @ 2:30 pm
Tags: , ,


Today. It’s a song we can all sing.
Join the chorus as AfroSays:

MAKING CONVERSATION

...a drink perhaps?

Dapper is mine.
I am Akilapa, local champion, beef head, jock and jester. The favorite of maidens, Oko Omoge; my distinct Aso Oke uniform introduces me as a member of the King’s strong men. My pounded yam mounds are as high as mountains and every planting morning, I build two hundred of these. In the evening I build three hundred more. I have never returned empty-handed from a visit to the forest – soars and their offspring weep once they hear my footfalls. They must have heard my stories from their fatherless and husbandless neighbours. I am the son of the son of Sango.

Would you join me for a drink now?”
”You spun me an impressive fictional resume all because I told you that I don’t talk to strangers?”
“Tell me your name”
“Okay you’ve earned it. Listen.
The sultry abomination. Psaltry like the song of Yemoja’s first heartbreak…
”Stop giggling like a girl and listen!”
“I’m listening oh!”
I am Enitan, the riddle, the desirable, the delectable, the disastrous. Daughter of the deep. My eyes would subdue your weak will and bring you to your knees. Virgin…
“Would you pay attention?”
“Ehen! Virgin evil; pure darkness; schemer… err, all the things you should be scared of! Look! I haven’t had much practice with this abeg! Can we go for that drink?”
“Only if you tell me your real name.”
“It’s really Enitan.”
“Really? Okay, I’m Deinde. By the way, I think I’ve seen all there is to see at this exhibition, and it looked like you had the same thing in mind when you took your eyes off the walls and started studying the people. Good art by the way.”
“Yea, particularly the silhouettes.”
“I think I preferred the landscape paintings though, especially the watery scenes, very peaceful. So… just off the lobby, we can have all the fun we want. Definitely more quality stuff than the cheap champagne we’re pretending to enjoy here.”
“What do you think about the hors d’oeuvres?”
“Too oily”
“Mmmm”
“I don’t like that look. Scary.”
“I don’t like that you don’t like my catering.”
“Err… I’m sorry. Okay, I thought the shrimp thing was quite delicious”
“Really?”
“Yes!”
“Ha! I was just fucking with you. I just came for the art and it seems you’re here to pick up weak-willed women with your smooth tongue. You must do this often, Mr. Dapper?”
“I like a lady that swears”
“Now did I? Fuck! Oh Pardon me!”
“You look cute the way you do that”
“Oh? Now do I?”
“And she does it again!”
“Let’s get that drink already.”
“You’re as much the ‘teeto’ as I am, I see. Off to the lounge we go, no, off to the restaurant! I think you deserve more of my company. You’ve earned it.”
“Cocky are we? I’d order enough to make you humble. Believe me, I’m good.”
“I’d like to see you try and while you’re at it, I’d love to hear the story behind the name, Enitan”
“Be a gentleman, escort me properly you beef head!”
“You were warned.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Uh huh”
“But seriously, you don’t like my catering?”
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32 Responses to “Making conversation”

  1. Ekwe Says:

    *blinking slowly.

  2. awizi Says:

    #ThatAwkwardMoment blossoming into #ThatComfortableConvoMoment. Nice.

  3. thatifygirl Says:

    Ooohh… I like!!!
    This is TOTALLY my kind of conversation. Very unconventional, made even more interesting because of that.
    Nice.

  4. ibetapassmynebo Says:

    Lol. . .
    I dunno why this is funny. .
    Is it supposed to be?

  5. edgothboy Says:

    That’d make an interesting first date.

  6. isetfiretotherain Says:

    I actually smiled reading this.

    Not many people are skilled in the art of breaking the ice and getting a guy/girl to relax, listen and enjoy the chat. (y)

  7. Haemlet Says:

    An interesting angle you wrote from. Nice

  8. @Moonraker_00 Says:

    So there’ll be a part 2, right? In which more Pinocchio-nosers were dropped by the guy and they ended up in the sack. Yes?

  9. How will I make conversation with the kind of flat ass the babe in the picture has brought to the party…how?!!

  10. Mz_Shadee Says:

    P setting 101.

  11. highlandblue Says:

    It takes great confidence to behave like a madman and expect a woman looking for emotional stability to go along with you. *strolling by*

  12. I ignore strange people who try to talk to me in public 😦

    Efe: increase your pace. No one cares.

    Lest I forget, deep -_-

  13. dhamyhan Says:

    But convos as smooth as this aren’t exactly automatic though…their success is dependent on both parties………..and err its psaltery.Good work.

  14. zoey Says:

    She’s gonna keep messing with him…..
    Tis cute, very cute!
    I like 🙂

  15. 0latoxic Says:

    🙂

    This made me smile… severally.

    Raise of hand if you smiled reading this…

  16. Funmibi Says:

    Nice!!!

  17. Ayaba Says:

    I likeeey!

  18. Ayaba Says:

    Read it the second time and I think I heard wedding bells… Weird huhn? Still got a smile on this pretty face btw.

  19. u_ezimah Says:

    Oh well, nice (Y)

  20. NateOblivion Says:

    And this my friends is how to set P. If you’re delusional and have a lot of luck behind you. Only works if you’re hot.

  21. keLvin Says:

    And I wonder why Banx doesn’t just tow this route. Ah well, we all can’t be awesome.¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

    I feel you could have gone on a bit more wit thr witty convos sha..I always enjoy such.

  22. J Says:

    Hahaha- okay, I am here to leave a comment on the story. I like it when conversations are easy,like this… Its an art, you know.. Some of us are just sooo good at it.. No akwardness whatsoever! Hehe

  23. Radeyo Says:

    Brilliant conversation. Safe to say d girl was d backbone cos the dude myt just have been re-using his lines from his “chat-up” book, but she, she just always ad-libbed with the right quips very easily. I think d dude was just fortunate to jam a babe with a great sense of humour and confident expression sha. If not, all hin lyrics for just waste. Lol

    • ann Says:

      I agree. Sounds more like a playful banter btw two ppl who r already familiar wiv demselves. Most ppl won’t be that free with a stranger…but then, some would.

  24. enitan Says:

    Smiled reading it…..

  25. Sick_Sage Says:

    Lol! I loved the intro. . .now U’re thinking it’s a village warrior singing his praises, next thing U’re dragged to an art gallery in the 21st century. Nice conversation too, very funny, nothing like wit to make a perfect introduction. You’re right, this isn’t the usual esoteric Banx writing, but it’s a very good piece in it’s own right

  26. phantompages Says:

    this would be my reaction if thiS happened to me : *pauses* -_- “NEXT!” LMAO!

  27. leonmacedon Says:

    Happy I finally got around to reading this… Some smooth operator.


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