Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Decades – The first decade (0-10) August 10, 2011

Filed under: Decades,Scenic — afrosays @ 10:02 am

The Decades project I.

Thanks for waiting. In case you missed the preview, find it here so you know what to expect. Decades is a beautiful project that was worked on by a team of eight talented bloggers, some of which you’re familiar with. (The details are in the preview)

The project attempts to take you on a journey that is planned around how the life of a man is at different stages of his life. We use the lives of different men, some of which are intertwined to paint this picture. The stages are in ten-year intervals, hence the name project name.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

The first Decade (0-10) by AfroSays


I am David Ajifolawe-Williams
I arrived via red carpet.
A bespoke tuxedo, no cravat, no socks, no shoes. I strutted clumsily, not sure how to handle all the attention. All of the lights. All of the action. All of the noise? Too much. Too darn much!
I should have gone back in that day, crawled back up into heaven. But I couldn’t. After all, she had forced me out, the same woman that would later claim to love me.
I stumbled a-plenty that day, losing footing and ruining the well laid carpet. The staging suffered; it would never welcome another, but it endured my blind manoeuvring. So I came into this cruel world, cruel from the first minute. I imagine that a vulgar slap was my welcome and I cried an obscene appreciation. The new sensations would have come over me like a blur. All of the lights. All of the action. All of the noise.
I don’t remember much of the after too and I’m glad I don’t. Growing up so dependent on mother? Being suckled? Being cleaned? Sharing a bed with her and father? Nature is right to destroy those memories.
Pictures tell me much of what I need to know between day zero and my first memory. Mother keeps a collection of them in an album I do not much like. I steal and throw them away – some of the photographs, when I can manage to. Last time she caught me, I got caned.
The pictures mother keeps tell a really cute story of how I grew under her watch. They tell a pretty story of birthdays; scary visits to that big, black, sweating man during Christmas (He always wore red clothes and he had a cotton wool beard that was held together by cellotape); family picnics to warm springs, amusement parks, and Mr Biggs (With myself dressed in a matching shirt-short-cap outfit.); yearly class promotions at school and several other events that seem to document a perfect childhood.
You forgot the pictures of your three year old wetting himself in class when the wicked teacher wouldn’t give me permission to use the toilet. You forgot the pictures of your four year old son copying Tobi’s work when he couldn’t write up till two hundred like the teacher told him to. You forgot the pictures of Halimat, the nine year old househelp trying to get your five year old son to sleep on her, it might have been with her after, who knows? You forgot the pictures of that same five year old kissing Bimbo and watching her kiss her brother.
Mother, there could have been more pictures, the pictures of your six year old spending stolen money that the Taiwanese girl in the class gave him everyday till you found out, the pictures of your seven year old son wondering whether to fill in yes or no when the school form asked for his sex. Mother! There could have been pictures of your eight year old on his knees, proudly telling Mr Opaleye, the most talented cane wielder in all of primary school-dom that he loved Temi Bada! You should have taken pictures of your nine year old flirting with pretty Ijeoma under the table while the teacher taught Bible Knowledge. She was the prettiest girl in school, mother! My friend told me I had my ways with women in primary five! That year, mother, I cheated at common entrance because I didn’t know some of it although you thought I was smart enough to scale through a year before I was meant to. You didn’t get a picture too! Why?
I’m ten years old now mother, I’m in king’s college. You still think I’m innocent don’t you? My friend just told me that if I want to be a ‘hard’ guy, I must know how to wank. I’m still asking around for what that is because it’s cool to be hard. I’m trying hard to fit in, mother!
I see it in your eyes, every time, that I’m a mistake you still regret making. You never told me, mum never did too, but I know, kid learn things. Sir.
Yes! You make me call you sir, not dad, sir. That’s the only way I can be allowed to relate with you, like it’s business because that’s all that you know. I think you’re great though, I think you rock even though we don’t talk much. There’s so much that we say on the way to school each morning even though we don’t say anything. I love the way my friends look at us when you drop me off in the black Mercedes and give me two thousand Naira for lunch. You should know that I can’t wait to be like you.
Maybe I’d like a pat on the head sometimes but really, money is enough, just money, no toys, no candy, no video games or anything to show that you’re really thinking of me, just money, like always, right before you give me a firm handshake and send me on my way.
We’re business men, both of us, but the price of my happiness is going up.
N.B. The project goes on for the following seven days. Tomorrow we have The Second Decade by @KevinWithAnL.
You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project).

92 Responses to “Decades – The first decade (0-10)”

  1. Simi Says:

    Creative, thoughtful approach

  2. BoukkieO Says:

    yay! I love this! I’ve seen only about 3 pictures of me growing up though; is that weird?

  3. Okay…I’m loving it already. Guess we already know the kind of kid homeboy is gonna turn into, seeing as his dad barely even has time for him.
    Good stuff bruv…

  4. runtaj Says:

    Nice piece, from start to finiah. The whole representation of simple childbirth with a stage filled wit lighta, red carpets n all #iLike. Sad fng she gave birth to no other tho.
    Dad being a businessman, most of us can relate sha.
    Wat am I saying ere; good job n I hope “decade 2 ll b beta”

    • afrosays Says:

      Thanks for reading siah!
      It’s different people writing naa, if you read @KevinWithAnL’s blog and you like what you read, you should enjoy his story then.

  5. Laoye Says:

    This is all kinds of deep. Looking forward to the rest of the week.

  6. @bule_jr Says:

    There are certain things I would have liked to see. E.g how as kids we start to figure out how to talk to girls, sneaking out to visit neighbours and play football and then running back as soon as I hear my dads horn.
    Sulking to ur folks because you just played the newest game console in your friends/cousins house and them shouting you down.
    My parents forced me to do some silly haircuts too…I was always on ‘layers’ :(.
    All in all decent start, let’s see what tomorrow brings.

    • afrosays Says:

      Na your own childhood bad pass oh!
      This couldn’t be too long and some of the experiences were taken from my own real experiences. A pity I wasn’t too cool with the neighbors, never really did games and football.

      My haircuts were rocking too. Boo ya!
      Again, On to Kelvin tomorrow!

  7. Haemlet Says:

    Cute write-up! Very incisive and humorous. Keep up the project.

  8. Mz.T Says:

    Love it!

  9. @Qurr Says:

    Yay!! E don dey happen! 😀

    Good job as always, Afrosays!

  10. Simi Says:

    nice approach. creative

  11. eddie Says:

    Dude u sure have made me remember some good old days. I gotta see the rest man.

  12. @ekwem Says:

    “We’re business men, both of us, but the price of
    my happiness is going up ”

  13. OYE Says:

    “Nobody knows you, nobody will, nobody knows this pain you feel, taken for insult or taken to heal, or taken away”……We’re all like you, We’ve all seen through your eyes, With our lives.

    • afrosays Says:

      And Oye had to come and be deep? Leggo!

      …Lives, I wish I had nine of, to make eight mistakes and live the last. But like you see through my single claim to breath, I see through seven billion others., and so, of lives, I do not need to have another.

  14. jayajade Says:

    Really love this, so totally feel the ‘expansive album collection’ embarrasment – we have two 21″ tv cartons full and that’s age 1-5 X_X . Lol what I know is that these are the ‘make-or-break’ years for a child especially in terms of their relationship with their parents. I can imagine it’s more pronounced for the boys tho….. Really good stuff. Looking foward to the rest of the installments. 😀

  15. freshprinz Says:

    Great stuff banx. I love the grand entrance & the kid’s focus on girls, money & being cool. Classic childhood goals….for some of us at least.

    • afrosays Says:

      True sir, my aspirations and I’m guessing yours too?
      But it would also seem that childhood was different for some others. This was a slice of mine though. Glad I’ve found concurrency!

  16. MzLucyM Says:

    This was rili gud! Lookn 4ward to d next one 🙂

  17. ibetapassmynebo Says:

    Ha….decades..tot as much….
    Hmmm my first decade..was horrible…infact I never wanna remember it 😦

  18. Wow.. I know I’m gonna extremely enjoy this series. Can’t wait for the mid-life crisis… A mercedes and
    200 bucks though? This David was born with a silver spoon…

  19. kels Says:

    Cool piece…I’m loving it already…really like how u introduced the childbirth part..
    Still can’t comprehend why fathers make their sons call them ‘sir’….its jus too formal mehn…I sure hope my husband and sons will hav a good father-son relationship…
    Newaiz nice piece…looking forward to tomorrow’s decade….

  20. Kelvin Says:

    Bawseman, entréé grandé!
    As usual, your literal dexterity is on point like a perky Keri Hilson moment.
    Love the imagery but #2000 lunch money? Dude can be my pops anyday mehn! Shiii…
    Will defo look out for the rest. Wonder what @kevinWithAnL will have to say. Unserious punk!

    • afrosays Says:

      Now I have to go research what exactly is a ‘perky Keri Hilson moment’.
      You too, you’re feeling the father abi? Thief!
      BTW, that @kevinWithAnL better rock tomorrow!

  21. Brownegurl Says:

    2000naira for lunch? That boy wuz lucky o. J/k. Its a very creative write-up. Seein in a nutshell wot growing up was like from another person’s perspective. We all hav similar experiences that never made it to the Foto Albums… Thank God! The last paragraph is my fave. Kudos.

  22. dhistorian Says:

    Afro always speaks to me, can relate with most of the experiences depicted, also my fav line ” the price of my happiness is going up” bless bruv
    Imma be here all week

  23. papyrusczar Says:

    Now subscribing to this blog. Kudos

  24. Betty Says:

    There are a thousand pictures of my older sister swaddled at birth.
    There are a hundred albums of my younger sister swaddled at birth.
    There are no pictures of me, swaddled at birth.
    Therefore, I am adopted.
    Let us, for the purpose of this comment, ignore my striking resemblance to my mother. Where are my pictures?

    Lovely writing, as usual. Can’t wait for the others. Gooooo Decades!

  25. saboswhite Says:

    I can’t wait †o read d other decades.u realy took me for d ride.nice one

  26. @ekwem Says:

    “My friend just told me that if I want to be a
    ‘hard ’ guy, I must know how to wank.” *rolling

  27. mabijo Says:

    Waoh! I love this. Got carried away with red carpet scenario and I had to read again after the second paragraph to understand its about childbirth.
    Unfortunately I don’t have pictures of my growing up years,at least, not until I was 4.two thousand naira for lunch for a 10yrs old kid,mhen! I don’t mind o considering I was given 100naira wen I was 10(and I saved half of it).

  28. I burnt about 67% of my childhood pictures. Embarrassing stuff.

    Love the style (as always). Can’t wait for the rest.

  29. thetoolsman Says:

    Been waiting for this for so long. I’m loving the response so far.. maybe we all wont get to kill Banxman for witch hunting us with emails after all.

  30. OsizUrUnkle Says:


  31. kayshawy Says:

    Have you seen my childhood….

  32. niyoo Says:

    Boy seems to blame his mom for those not-so-good occurences 😦
    Good write up though.

  33. raihanah Says:

    Those matching clothes… Annoying! Why could they let us wear what we wanted?? I had to wear those stupid cinderalla gowns with soo much lining and lace and funny hats to match :(… And stupid socks..
    I love my baby pictures though..not soo many of them too.. They kept pictures from day1..I wish I cud stay that innocent..

    Real nice concept! Definately wanna see the teenage years.. 😀

  34. Laurenta Says:

    Just found out about this

    interesting to see how all the men will relate to each other in the end
    i must applaud you for taking on the mind of a 10yr old, that is in itself a challenge
    you did really good today
    i’ll be watching

  35. obafuntay Says:

    So true! how we mostly have just pictures of good occurrences in our lives, especially that 1st decade.
    There’s no picture of how I first nicked Naira from mum’s room to buy extra biscuit or sweet.

    Excellent write! Can’t wait for more!

  36. Funmibi Says:

    This is a really beautiful and creative piece! I’m looking forward to reading the next Decade.@ Betty,i think if you search harder, you’ll find pictures of you swaddled @ birth. Keep this up!

  37. Dee Says:

    @ betty I totally understand. Though in my case its good there are no pictures. No need to tell the world I grew into my ears
    @ banx love the writing. Real creative. Matching clothes a definite no no. Even went as far as ruining my outfit to get out of that.

  38. Kemmiiii Says:

    This is a really lovely post…kinda deep!!
    I love my baby pictures…They remind me that I can still be fat cuz I was once fat..
    I have hope when i see them..
    It is sad that I just have two of them tho..
    During my parents’separation, everything got lost in transit 😦
    I’m looking foward to the other decades.

  39. Ms_Anee Says:

    Nice….reminded me a bit of my father

  40. highlandblue Says:

    I remember my first kiss, my bicycle riding, my hatred of class, my teddy bears, my Lego blocks, Enid Blyton books, the lost of my best friend, some of my nightmares and so many childhood TV shows. The very first day is described here ——->

  41. tommielawlar Says:

    “The pictures mother keeps, tell a really cute story of how i grew under her WATCH”. Ofcos the pictures u query her for not keepin are pictures of stuff done outside her WATCH. Those mummy and daddy games we played in secret. oh well…My ist decade pictures wer…it doesnt look like it was me in those pictures sha. its prolly not me!.
    and im guessing it jis grew on u to refer to ur father as sir… wouldn’t kill u if u called him ‘dad’. at least ur sisters aren’t dead jis yet…
    **climbing table to see the future (teenage years).

  42. ije Says:

    Lookin forward to d follow-ups

  43. kitkat Says:

    Nice story, …but the poor mum needs to be cut some slack. It’s the norm to document/take pics of good times. I kinda wanted to hear a bit more. There was no climatic moment.

  44. deji Says:

    My mother will be furious if she reads dis. I used to address my dad as Daddy Sir! X_x I fear dat man o

  45. awizii Says:

    Awesome man…Kinda like me growing up. And I went to K.C too. I remember every birthday party, and I only saw a few of my childhood pictues too…Really nice read.

  46. Cross Says:

    Pictures! I’ve gt loads,but unfortunately water hs spoilt em 😦 so sad. D 1st 5yrs I & my dad were inseperable,btwn 6 & 16 tho…enemies;nw he’s close 2being my best buddy 😀 emphasis on “close” erm 2000 for lunch?! O_o I received 50 in jss3 & ss1…I hvnt received more dan 15k snc may dt I’ve bin on hols…chai 2000 for lunch *tears* I & my mom nw…enemies 😐

  47. Hello there, You’ve done an incredible job. I will definitely digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this website.

  48. dahighpriest Says:

    Nice work Banx U’ve rily carved a great niche for urself. proud of U.
    I think you’re pretty right nature thankfully has a way of deleting and erasing some of them pictures, I have a couple of them still nonetheless, pooing on the dining table, peeing on a cousin who carried me, getting locked up in the whole house whil everybody was out, knowing TV time is over immediately Dad comes home. those are some pictures.

  49. THINKTANK Says:

    Color me impressed 🙂
    The style, the memories…
    But its the end I love most of all
    “The price of my happiness is going up”. So much in that little sentence.

    Good stuff!

  50. @shettoo Says:

    Awesome……good job man.

  51. sebelle Says:

    I so remember some of those moments. lol! childhood! there are so many memories, most of them downright embarrassing.

  52. softasilk Says:

    I don”t have baby pictures.Though I would have loved to see what I looked like as a baby. Maybe that is why I have gone excessive with my kids. I have 2 kids in this decade and sometimes I feel like we rush kids to grow up fast. Pictures are for memories and most times the most important parts of growing up are not documented.

  53. Michael Ayodeji Says:

    I cnt believe I missed dis….cool

  54. Sick_Sage Says:

    And unto us a son is born. . .the first 10 years of a man’s life are a very important time, 2nd only to the 2nd decade,from your story it’s obvious the path our boy is treading, although KC could change everything, I know boarding school changed my whole life. Good writing bro, looking forward to the other installments.

    P.S: Maybe I’m weird, but as a kid attention from my parents wasn’t that important to me oh, as long as I had my books and TV,and food, every thing was alright.

  55. Enykings Says:

    Awesome mehn! . . . .Totally loved.

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