Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Decades – The second decade (11-20) August 11, 2011

Filed under: Decades,Scenic — afrosays @ 10:00 am

The Decades project I.

Thanks for following! In case you missed the preview, find it here so you know what to expect. Decades is a beautiful project that was worked on by a team of eight talented bloggers, some of which you’re familiar with. (The details are in the preview)

The project attempts to take you on a journey that is planned around how the life of a man is at different stages of his life. We use the lives of different men, some of which are intertwined to paint this picture. The stages are in ten-year intervals, hence the name project name.

We hope that you’d be kind enough to leave a comment. Your feedback is important to us.

The Second Decade (11-20) by @KevinWithAnL


“The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step?” Right? WRONG! It starts when your car breaks in the middle of nowhere and there’s no one to help push! It’s worse when the car is broken beyond repair or recognition and you can’t even move… not to talk of taking a step…
My journey begins here, it begins at the end. This is the end…
My story for your sake starts at age eleven and this is because I’m not about to bore you or myself with the less interesting details of my formative years. I’m Olufemi Olusola Coker born to a very well to do family residing in Oniru area of Lagos state. Dad is a highly respected Justice of the Court of Appeal and mum, well the ever supportive wife and mother. I’m the second of three kids both being sisters… (My younger sister is sickle cell anaemic. Sigh!) Maybe its because I’m the only boy in the family, but I’m used to all the female attention. Mother still bathed me till I was 10 because as far as she knew, I never washed my bum-bum well enough, when I turned 11 though, I put a stop to it and became responsible for my body. As time passed and lots of water went down the drain, I discovered some changes in my body, there was hair growing in strange places. What do I call this now? I referred to it as my “willy willy” and my friends in class JSS1 had laughed at me without any sane answer. Well my willy region was getting hairy and I told mother about it. “Its normal, she’re just growing up! Its puberty” the hair seemed to also proceed to my armpits..I took it in my stride though…and then IT happened…
I remember that night so clearly, I had slept so peacefully like any normal human being only to awake sometime in the course of the night with a weight in my pyjamas, it was coming from my willy region again! What is it with this Puberty guy and my willy? What has my willy done to deserve this? I peep down my pyjamas and whatever is down there nods back at me kinda like saying “Yo! Whatsup? I see u” I run into father’s room for an explanation… It’s mother who gives any though (father wasn’t much of a talker, was quiet lots of time, except when he quarreled with mother which was quite often).. “Come here, let me see… Oh! Obi’m (Mum being ibo called me this pet name) there’s nothing to worry about, your penis . is .just… charged” Charged? What the hell is that? She proceeds “As you grow, you become more excited at some sights and thoughts, also when you wake up in the morning, your penis will wake up with you” Oh! I said, relaxing and staring at the ‘guy’, he was in mother’s hands and was growing and nodding more. She let me go and as I turned to leave she said “Obi’m you are now a MAN, stay away from girls!”
She shouldn’t have said that.
At age thirteen, now fully a teenager, I felt like I could take on the world. I was the ‘Man’ as mother had said and father often echoed. My sisters had developed a healthy respect for me and thus I demanded such from all of like specie. I didn’t get it though! I felt becoming a teenager automatically meant I should have a girlfriend. I didn’t know the use of them but it just seemed cool to have one. Most of my classmates (though older) seemed to have girlfriends and it wasn’t cool to be left behind.
Enter Nadia, my classmate, well I really can’t say she was beautiful because I didn’t quite know what qualified anyone as such but she made my willy ‘charge’ and since mother said I should stay away from girls like this, the rebel in me was attracted..I couldn’t approach her directly so I wrote her a letter…
“Dear Nadia,
Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air? You take my breath away and living without you is like living without breathing – Impossible! It’s been hard all this while and I can’t take it anymore.
My main purpose of writing this letter is to let you know that you rock my world, you are the girl of my dreams and I want to be your man. Baby, you should let me love you. I will buy you snacks at break time, Help you carry your bag at closing time and also make sure your name isn’t among noisemakers, you know Kunle (the class captain) is my friend.
I will be honoured and completely excited if my love application is considered and granted.
I love you
PS: This letter is sealed with a kiss
Did she say yes? NO! Did she reply? NO!
Kunle said “maybe its because you are not man enough!” I got home that day, dejected. Father was reading a paper as I walked in, I greeted him and stared at him for a while trying to understand what made me not man enough! What did he have that I didn’t? Then it finally hit me!
I rushed to the bathroom and brought out the methylated Spirit…facial hair, here I come! Aaaarrrrghhhh!!!!!
Lets just say I quickly realised that i couldn’t cheat nature ‘spiritually’, I was doomed to facial features akin to baby bum freshness.
Years came along and at age 16, I became more aware of happenings around me. Father and mother would engage themselves in frequent quarrels, and mother would always be left emotionally scarred. This seemed to draw her close to her ‘creator’ as she called him. Methinks her creator was one pastor dude who seemed to believe I had something to be delivered from! The fucker!
I had sat for and successfully failed the UME/JAMB exam yet father wasted no time in getting me admitted into Unilag. I was offered Computer Science. While my mates were in class most times, I was at Ozone hanging with the boys and chics, headphones blaring, window shopping and stuff. Weekends were spent at Oniru and Elegushi. In my mind, this was life and I was rocking it!
A day to my 18th birthday, I had sex…
I’m going to spare the details but just let you know it was NOTHING like I had seen in all the porn videos I had studied prior to the act. My iPod was full of moves and sexual stunts but in 5 minutes, I was done! The chic (my girlfriend Segi) didn’t even moan like they did! Where where the ‘ooohs and aahhs?’ All I got was ‘wikki wikki wikki wikki’ the sound of the cheap hotel bed spring… Oh yeah, and her frequent “easy o!”
My birthday party was arranged for Caliénté and it turned out to be a blast. Samuel (father’s driver) brought me to the venue in dad’s Range Sport (father was away at the time, mother was at her frequent ‘night vigils’). Lots of dancing, booze and eventually ‘Kush’ yes! My first time of doing the stuff and I immediately understod the inspiration behind Dr.Sid’s “flying over the moon” song. I was still on a high, I didn’t hear the sirens, people scampering looked like a crowd of jerkers, even the cop car lights seemed like an extension of the Disco ones…
Father worked his magic. His disappointment was glaring, his eyes showed it but he said nothing.
But I wouldn’t stop. Maybe I should have changed my friends, maybe I should have put things in perspective, but I couldn’t. I was just having too much fun. My friends took me deeper, into an illicit ‘brotherhood’ and school eventually lost meaning. I was carried away by the plentiful drugs, the girls and the reputation; It was an addictive rush, but like every other good thing I’d found in life, paradise came crashing down eventually. The brotherhood got me in trouble and I was asked to leave school for cult-related activities. Of course, my grades were no good and my life had taken a total downturn by then – I was hooked on drugs, mother had become a permanent occupant at THAT church, my lil’ sis wasn’t getting better – my world had come crashing down all at once; I couldn’t piece my life together anymore.
This morning, two years of frustration after, I picked up the car keys. Drove far. Drove Fast. Kept driving. To nowhere. To anywhere. Pedal Down. Tears Falling. Eyes NOT on the road. BlackBerry holding. Hands typing THIS…
White Lights…
“The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step?” Right? WRONG! It starts when your car breaks in the middle of nowhere and there’s no one to help push! Its worse when the car is broken beyond repair or recognition and you can’t even move… not to talk of taking a step…
This IS the END..


FIND THE ART OF @KevinWithAnL here
N.B. The project still goes on for the following six days. Tomorrow we have The third Decade by @thetoolsman.
Decades so far.
The first Decade
You can subscribe to the blog (at the right column to follow the project).

66 Responses to “Decades – The second decade (11-20)”

  1. BoukkieO Says:

    Hmm.. I can relate to hanging with the wrong crowd as a teenager; can mess you up real bad. Good stuff KeLvin.

  2. rili interestn read this was….. nyc 1 kelvin…

  3. Haemlet Says:

    So sad and pathetic! That kind of life sounds familiar.

  4. Brownegurl Says:

    Wow! This is gud. Very descriptive, very detailed. Poor dude, growin up that way must v be real tough. Really can’t wait to read the next post. Kudos.

    • keLvin Says:

      yay!! writing for Afrosays causes you to pay attention to the tiniest detail(s), Banxman is a screw..sorry slave driver! Thanks for reading. make sure you’re subscribed to keep up. Thanks again

  5. obafuntay Says:

    Second decade: that ‘friend’ that gave me my first porn compact disk. Whew!
    Or the one that told me what wanking meant and how ‘cool’ it was..
    Had to keep up with the ‘Big Boys’ reputation of sending the gardener to buy TFC every lunch break so mummy’s money had to always go missing.
    o well..

    Great Piece!

  6. @ekwem Says:

    “… Oh
    yeah, and her frequent “easy o !” hahahahahaha


  7. Awww. ….

    This story kinda reminds me of someone. 😦

    Really well written.

    • keLvin Says:

      Yes, Cece.i tend to remind people of someone all the time, so moving on, lunch, dinner? 😀 or wait! do you know Nadia?

  8. @bule_jr Says:

    Ok my 11-20. I was brilliant in school then interhouse sports came around and I started seeing QC and down girls, things went downhill.
    You didn’t talk about ‘wet dreams’. Choi crazy stories.
    Then my first kiss, and first girlfriend and those famous words”will you go out with me”? X_X
    We were useless teenagers I’ll say. Thank God for jesus 😀

    • keLvin Says:

      Baba Blue, being limited to some amount of words won’t allow us express everything. you know how it is…but anyway, Thank God for Jesus, some of us found Him late though. 🙂

  9. Kelvin Says:

    Let me subscribe before I carry last 😀

  10. OYE Says:

    I quickly realised that i couldn’t cheat nature ‘spiritually’ <— this got me rolling……. so many things happen between this period I think what eventually becomes of most of us takes place here, its hard to change, had a dejavu while posting this comment.

    "everyone is a kid that no one cares about you have to keep screaming till they hear you out!"

  11. theGeneralsDaughter Says:

    I totally love this idea of the stages of a man’s existence so beautifully captured in words, and you’ve recruited the most amazing writers (from what I’ve read so far). I can’t wait for Betty’s project though.☺

  12. terdoh Says:

    Hmmm… 11-20, got ‘raped’ by my maid, saw my first porn magazine (Viking’s Revenge, Issue #12…collector’s item I tell you), had my first wet dream, had sex for the first (and last) time, dated over 17 chicks, got dumped by one, started being a joker, saw my grades skin dive…

    WTF, I’m still in those years… I’ll come back and update this comment when I enter the next decade. 🙂

    Oga Kel! Good job mehn… I felt like I was Femi there…

  13. Uche Says:

    The 11-20 decade is truly one of firsts for most people. Particularly like the part where he had sex for the first time and discovered it wasn’t all it had been made out to be. Most things aren’t.

    Nice work.

  14. ibetapassmynebo Says:


    My 2nd decade…..extremely horribe…

    • keLvin Says:

      NICE!! Ibeta!! NICE??? No..that singular comment reads like “ok, i just have to say something here, so…”
      but anyway, its you so you’re forgiven but i’ll get you back SOON!

  15. Slim Says:

    Awww…poor boy…
    A nearly absent father and a severely pressured mother…who may have allowed him to get spoilt sef…
    I’m loving Decades! *sips wine*

    • keLvin Says:

      I’ll have you know young lady that i’m not poor…
      well, mother was absent and father too busy…i tend to think that growing up pretty much alone contributed to it.
      sip easy on that wine though, your work starts soon…buhahaha *sips JD and coke*

  16. Great piece Kelvin…altho we still see d standard #WithAnL charm I can see d Afrosays touch as well.
    I was a great child (mostly) between 11 – 20 (some would call it boring). Model student, was cool with everybody, but my friends were all good kids (most of them). Went from brainy tout to headboy in that period too. Had my head on pretty well so I never made the false starts a lotta peeps my age did in Uni *shrug*. Guess dat’s my 2nd decade in a nutshell. *drops mic n picks up his glass of shilled Zobo Imperial*

    • keLvin Says:

      Which kain #WithAnL charm ehn? i literally had to purge myself to write this mehn, it was really challenging seeing as i love laidback, i-dont-care-about-punctuation-phrases-tenses-and-shiii kinda writing. but bankole…
      u were a good kid, me? i kissed a girl first in KG2

  17. isetfiretotherain Says:

    oh wow! you had a crush for Miss Dania in high school?

    lovely story, sad how he turned out.

  18. Sha-Sha Says:

    My first time here. Epic sturvs o. I officially love u o Kel. :* 😀

  19. kayshawy Says:

    Cool stuff…very descriptive! A day’s blog post is not enuff to describe our teenage years, so much happened in those years…from JSS to SSS, playing the rebel at home, chopping the cane and belts, FOOTBALL, bball, nintendo, sega, school parties (with the all boys out cliche), the way we dressed, the shoes we wore (bikers, sanchos etc)…..teenagers! Hmmm….lots of talking points!

  20. Betty Says:

    Most of these years of my life were spent in my head. I was clueless.

    Interesting read, Kelvin. (Y)

  21. @Qurr Says:

    Correct guy! God go make you bigger o! 😀

    Na wa for that una father sef. Smh.

  22. @ekwem Says:

    during my teenage years… I didnt know anything.I just lived it as it came.

  23. ibetapassmynebo Says:

    Duh… it my own decade??? Pshhhhhh

    Suck it up and be a man…..
    Life is not even Nice

  24. @mizztosin Says:

    2nd decade
    Wow, life moved reli fast. Was done wt sec. Sch by 14 while praying n fasting 2God 4 boobs 2show on my chest. Had my 1st bf den too….oh wow Vic was a nice bf. Fun years. As crazy as those hormones were, I ve 2admit dey were pretty easy yrs compared 2 now wen I ve 2b a GROWN UP.
    Hahaha dose “I hate my mum” moments cuz she wud nt let me go out n be FREE. Now I thank God she didn’t o. Plenty fun memories.

  25. kitkat Says:

    KevinWithAnL can write about watching paint dry and i’l still love it. This is beeeeautiful!! I cringed at the thought of his mum holding his willy. The letter part got me cracking up! I remember helping my brother with some of his “love letters” :p

  26. awizii Says:

    *Enter the cliche lines* “I can relate to this”..screw that… I SO CAN! Ahan! The porn, yes. All the table banging at the back of the class..yes. QC inter-house sports, I never missed it. Had a crush on my Hausa teacher in JS 2…Fat, beautiful woman, and was one of the best in Chemistry from SS1 to SS3 too…Mrs Joy Okoro, how can I forget…damn, women are my weakness…

    Drugs, thankfully no. I became serious in Yr1 then relapsed…pretty undulating experiences in my first year in university…

    But I really,really like this…can’t wait for tomorrw. 😀

  27. 0laToxic Says:

    Banx, Kelv, gr8 job

    Toxic wuz ‘ere…

  28. Mary Trumbo Says:

    Really cool post. I just stopped by by your site and wanted to say that I have actually enjoyed exploring your posts. Any way, I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I’m hoping you write again shortly!

  29. Kemmiiii Says:

    This is lovely Kev!
    O well, My second decade has been good so far..
    But med school is tryna frustrate my life..
    Good one.

  30. tommielawlar Says:

    Still in my second decade and its err…twisted. oh well, God dey.
    Funny and sad story tho. Nice write-up. Lol at ‘easy oh’…

  31. Dee Says:

    Spent most of those years with my nose buried in a book.
    Lovely writing

  32. lala Says:

    Nyc read..

  33. kponja Says:

    My 2nd decade was bitter/sweet for me. Secondary schooling out of lagos meant I was always a ‘JJC’ whenever holidays were around, infact I only knew people from my building and my church!!!

    Schooling outside lagos meant I could claim anything and no one would question me, and CLAIM I did!!! Not really sure how I knew a lot but I did, and I always re-iterated these stories as my own. My classmates thot I was some kinda ‘Don from Lagos’ *if any of you are here,X_X* everything changed after WAEC tho. Then I actually started living my preivious lies. Made alotta mistakes too… *sigh*

  34. thatifygirl Says:

    A lot of statements had me rolling; “cheating nature ‘spiritually’ “, “successfully failing JAMB”, “wikki wikki”. Anyway, a very well told story. Well done!

  35. Nutella Says:

    Nice one Kelvin. Good read!
    For me, when I started my flow, could not tell Ma, so I typed a note and dropped it in her basket during visiting day.
    And when I told her I had a BF, she asked if I was pregnant? My mouth became sealed afterwards on all matters of men.
    She’s trying to open them now.

  36. @shettoo Says:

    Well written……someone’s story till he took the train going to covenant and not a federal/state uni, who knows?.
    Thumbs up!

  37. anitttta Says:

    NICE….Loved reading it.

  38. Chukyjunior Says:

    Lol @ the thot of KeLvin tryin to ‘purge’ himself of withanL in dis post! Really lovely read tho…
    I understand d limitations of putting down 10-roller-coaster years in abt 800 words: not easy but well done!
    I ws raised to ask ‘Y’ always, so a lota peer-pressure fads didn’t get me sha, thankfully…too playful to come first but neva fell below 3rd…
    On to d next one!

  39. Sick_Sage Says:

    I think the 2nd decade is the most important in a man’s life, since it’s when he’s moulded into the man he’ll become,changes in other decades are just modifications to the finished model. Good writing Kelvin, making a tragedy so funny, I never had ‘the talk’ with my parents though, I figured things out myself,with the help of books, as for love letters written. . .

  40. anon Says:

    i didnt wanna comment but just had to. its hilarious. “willy,willy”. its just the fact about what alot of teens go through, some get back on track and some just lose it completly. Thank God for Jesus

  41. jay Says:


  42. Enykings Says:

    Just one word. . . . IMPRESSIVE. U blew me away men! Welldone

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