Afrosays to me

…random excerpts from my communions with the AfroMuse

Time. Again. June 7, 2011

Filed under: Abstract — Betty @ 8:23 am
Tags: ,

Solemn sounds emitting from this gong. Pitches of immortal anguish plaguing the soul. Listen..
RegretfulBetty

... Time... Again...

The clock doesn’t tick anymore. Its tick-tock no longer mocks me.

Maybe I can sleep now.

I threw it against the wall. Hard. The batteries fell out. It’s face cracked. The broken clock.

Silence. Ahhhh…

The loud silence resounding through this empty house. It amplified the quiet in my head.

But it didn’t last. Tick. Tock.

I looked about wildly. No clocks in sight. What ticks? What tocks?

Tick.. Aaargh! The regret and shame welling through my being.

Tock.. The unconfessed, unforgiven sin you’ll never know.

Is..Is that my heart? No.

Noooooo! I let the scream wrench from my chest.

I took in deep breaths. Willing it to quiet down. Willing it stop ticking. But it won’t.

It’s loud. This ticking. This tocking. Because it comes from inside. I can’t take out the batteries… Can I?

Can I?

I can see you. I still see your reflection in my eyes.

But if I end it, the pain will end. I don’t deserve to be free of pain. There’s no healing in this pain.

I deserve to rot in pain. Writhe and languish in this den of torture that I have built for myself.

Why did I do it? I don’t know. I can’t explain it away. Can’t justify it. That’s part of the pain.

And when I had sated the pleasures of my body, the hole in my soul still remained. Only you could fill that. But that was when the call came. After I had had my epiphany. That you were it. They said you were gone. Gone?

No. I want you to have been here when I got home. To have asked you to forgive me. To have watched you cry and curse at me. To have told you there could only be you.

But you were gone. Are gone.

I’m a broken man. But it’s your time that is over.

But that’s all I have. Time. Time is all I have.

Time. Without you.

Just time. Endless time.

And this tick-tocking heart will always mock me. Until my time ends.. But every second seems like an eternity.

Tick. Tock.

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40 Responses to “Time. Again.”

  1. samanthasiren Says:

    So Short. So Simple. You def have your own style.
    I wish I possess the power to haunt a man’s conscience like this…
    Maybe I do.
    I like.

  2. @bule_jr Says:

    what girls do to us sha??? it is well
    again betty nice one

  3. missfadesomi Says:

    Awww. This is so touching. I really hope that’s the way guys feel (lol). Some girls do this too sha. Beautiful writing Pemi.

  4. It comes from inside<<<<<Deep!

  5. tweetkid14 Says:

    Uberbetty ‎​ȋ̝̊̅Ƨ̷̜̌̋ always uber-awesome,it kud av been A̶̲̥̅ girl in  poem tho, nevertheless u av exhibited ur depth and range once again
    Bravo!!!!
    Johnny bravo that ‎​ȋ̝̊̅Ƨ̷̜̌̋
    Lol

  6. She died. Left him forever and now the time that they spent together becomes an ardent reminder of the pain of her loss. It will end one day my friend, Afterall they say the so called ‘endless’ time heals all wounds…
    Beautiful write up. I still wonder how you and Banxman do it.
    Bravo!

  7. Tolu Akanni Says:

    Pemi, my evergreen crush.
    Me I know I’m in love with you.. *sighs* talk for another day

    Its always fun reading you, nice painting from a true word artist!
    I can only ask 4 MORE!!!

  8. Dolly Says:

    Nice piece…really deep

  9. Betty…All I can say is…damn…this is some deep stuff mehn.
    You and sad sha…hian…dont know who’s “worse” between u n Dania…
    @Samantha…wat makes u think u dont already possess that power?

  10. ibetapassmynebo Says:

    Precise…beautiful….seriously my head is tick -tocking (is der anyfn like dat)

    Touching…..I like….tick “tock”…ds is my catch phrase for d day———> yup yup yup

  11. ie Says:

    Wowed once again. Such a sad piece…cool that u wrote it from a guy’s perspective. Makes me think this should be the continuation of the one where the guy sacrifices he gf for money. 😛 ok.or not.

  12. Sad. Never knowing if you’ll be forgiven for hurting someone, because I think that’s the source of the pain here. He hurt her, and now he’ll never get the chance to ask for forgiveness. He has the guilt of committing a ‘sin’ and he’ll never get the release that comes from forgiveness. He’ll never think himself worthy of love. It’s sad when there’s no closure.

    Good story, Pemi.

  13. iam_dQ Says:

    this is beautiful..!!!

    *scrolls back up to read a third time*

  14. tommielawlar Says:

    U write movingly. Its so girl-like n im sure cos im a girl too. Dont knw what goes on wiv guys. So cant say. Its awesome if this really happens wiv guys. Its sad too cos she dint jis leave, she left forever. *sigh*.ts great…really

  15. Glory Says:

    I’m at a loss for words… Beautiful doesn’t satisfy…

  16. Sick_Sage Says:

    Sad. . .evocative writing. I like how U equated d heartbeat with d ticking of d clock,even our body tells us time’s moving

  17. 2lu Says:

    speechless…

  18. EkweMartin Says:

    dayum!! u should have seen the smile on my face after the first few lines. the style of this writing is something I one day hope to imbibe. beautiful piece of writing. I was first shocked dat it was a man. tick tock. betty is a great woman. I swear down.

  19. EkweMartin Says:

    oh..and I am d biggest fan of every ‘ what the gong says’ heading on this blog especiAlly that ‘…what the gong says,its not always wisdom’.

  20. Elmer Says:

    I love it! I love that the narrator is a guy. I love that I assumed it was a girl and I was wrong. I love that the ticking and tocking going on just highlights the title(time)

    You write beautifully.
    And this is my fave line:

    It’s loud. This ticking. This tocking. Because it comes from inside. I can’t take out the batteries… Can I?

    I love the battery suicide metaphor. He considered killing himself for a micro-second.

  21. Elmer Says:

    I love it! I love that the narrator is a guy. I love that I assumed it was a girl and I was wrong. I love that the ticking and tocking going on just highlights the title(time)

    You write beautifully.
    And this is my fave line:

    It’s loud. This ticking. This tocking. Because it comes from inside. I can’t take out the batteries… Can I?

    I love the battery suicide metaphor. He considered killing himself for a micro-second.

  22. Brownegurl Says:

    ✓✓✓ This ‎​is short n deep. ‎​​I can’t even imagine his pain, regret n guilt. *smh* poor guy. Nice one @uberbetty, (Y)

  23. BBB Says:

    DEEP!
    i hope when men hurt us, thats actually what they feel, lost and guilty
    IF only wishes were horses

  24. Axlrand Says:

    Love the Sherlock holm-ish identity wrap. A dude? Oh well, beautiful. Teasy style too, draws you in. Short and poignant, 2 reasons why i’ll be back 🙂

  25. Nono Says:

    Beautiful in its simplicity. You already know what I think about your writing. Just superb….. :).

  26. pope Says:

    ….some really deep, dark stuff, yet its so beautifully written….makes some us think twice about wat we do to people we care about.
    really lovely piece.

  27. Okeoghene Says:

    Your power of description is so on point. You captured the essence of one who has offended another and cannot be forgiven because the one who was offended is no more. I loved the metaphors. There is pure talent on this site. You guys rock

  28. @Qurr Says:

    Now THIS is just intriguing. “Why does my heart keep ticking for you now you’re gone”-ish.

    Hmmm I really love this Betty. Thumbs up as usual!

  29. sholly Says:

    It’s definitely not Big ben lol! Dark painful feel to it.death is the only way out of this unwanted issue.the sad dark expressionist 😀

  30. *insertPseudonym* Says:

    I know you… You know me… You don’t know him… But u will…

    Beautiful writing. Lots of full stops. The offense…

    “And when I had sated the pleasures of my body, the hole in my soul still remained…”

    …fornication?

    His only sloution- buy a clock back! ☺ its ‘tick-tock’ is a lot less haunting.

    I’ll be reading…

  31. kitkat Says:

    very nice poem! you’re so talented uurgh *jealous bitchy hiss* 😛

  32. foluwa Says:

    Nice story agaib gugu! For a moment der when he realised d ticking came 4rm his heart n wondered if he could stop it, thot maybe he’s just be superhuman-like n remove the heart from he’s body!lol. But my heart did skip a beat


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